Saturday, 27 September 2008

Month 11

Dear Bea and Gabe,
I know I say this every month but I can't believe how old you are getting. We are now planning your 1st did that happen?? One year ago now I had finally given up to my hugeness and spent most of my time trying to get comfortable something which never really happened. Sleep was interrupted constantly by the need to pee and two of the busiest babies ever. At night when Dad and I would go to bed we would lie there and watch my belly for a while. Minutes after I settled in, you two would decide it was time for a party and you could see it from the outside. Gabe you liked to kick, especially my bladder and Bea Bea you liked to push your head up into my ribs giving me terrible heartburn. The last couple of weeks before you were born were the most uncomfortable of my life and I couldn't wait for you to come out......and then you did.....too soon....and I would have done anything to be that uncomfortable again to keep you safe until you were ready to make your entrance.

You guys are doing something new everyday and it is all happening so fast that I worry that I will miss it or forget to tell you later.

Gabe, you are more active then ever and covered in bruises from all your adventures. You are now getting around shuffling your feet while holding on to the furniture. This is how you loose your balance and bump that pumpkin of a head of yours. One benefit to all this walking is you sleep great now because you are exhausted when naps and bedtime roll around. I can't leave you guys alone for a second without some sort of trouble. I guess I should get use to this.....I can only guess that this is what it is going to be like for the rest of my life!

Bea you are still cruising around commando crawling but you have gotten really quick. You are now pulling yourself up on you knees and like to stand if you can lean against me or on something. I can tell it won't be long for you to be up on your feet. You are happy to sit with me while we look at books or play while Gabe wants to be out getting the walking down. This month you started putting your head down on my chest when we cuddle and if nothing else has made me feel like your mom that was it
Both of you started waving this month, but only when you feel like it. It started with Bea doing 'gimme gimme' with both hands and Gabe waving at himself and slowly evolved into a real wave. During one meal this week I was waving at you both and saying 'hi' when Gabe said hi back. This totally took me surprise because Bea you have always been the more verbal one. But there it was....hi and you have never said it again.
To guarantee your job in a circus, Gabe you have popped out one bottom toof out of that melon head of yours. Boy were you miserable for a couple of days! and I have to admit I gave you tylenol almost every night. I figured that sleep would help keep you in the best spirits. Nothing is worse than a teething sleepy baby.
When we found out we were having twins everyone had tons of advice. Everyone always does.... but the one thing that seemed to be repeated even by other twins parents was that the first three months is the hardest and it was really hard......but then like by magic once we reached the three month mark all those same advice givers told us it was the first six months that were the hardest, and then at six we were told nine etc etc..... The point of all this is that yes it was hard and I couldn't wait for the hard to be over but now at 11 months it hasn't gotten easier, it has just gotten more fun. It doesn't matter how hard anything is when you're having fun.

Love Mama

Thursday, 4 September 2008

Why can't we all just get along???

There are new things to learn at every stage of life. But there was one I had heard of but never experienced until I became a mother. The joy of being judged by other parents. People choose there plan of attack when they are faced with parenthood. I know poor choice of words, maybe I am feeling a little too much like a parent of multiples.......And much like religion, they feel that their choice is the only way. That they are doing it right and the rest of us are completely fucking it up. Will my children will be damaged and will they suffer life long emotional scars because of the choices I've made?

I love reading Mommy Bloggers, and I capitalize this because I think we are a special breed and deserve to be in CAPS. Many of us write to document life for our children to read later, some of us are doing it to reach out to other Mommys, some of us are passing time during mat leave and some are women who have always been blogging and became mothers. I love you all. I love you for sharing your stories, for being honest and sometimes getting down and dirty. But I don't love the judgement, the scorn and the down your nose looking.

I read MANY parenting books while pregnant and have watched many friends while they raise their children and made alot of decisions of how I wanted to raise my children once they arrived. The thing is.....once they got here I had to re-adjust some of those ideas. Not because they aren't good ways to raise your children but because they weren't going to work for my children or my family.

Being a mommy is hard. It is the best thing I have ever done and I had to work harder then most to get to this magic land. I am a good mom and my children are very happy healthy babies and I hope the same for you whether you practise Attachment Parenting and they sleep in the same bed with you or you sleep them in a crib, whether you soothe them to sleep or whether you let them cry a little. Educate yourself and find what is going to work for you family and children. But the worst thing you can teach your children is to be judgemental bigots.