Saturday, 21 October 2006

Halloweeny goodness

The "spouse" and I have decided what we are going to be for Halloween!!


I have a blond wig, a T-shirt that I have glitter glued "Mrs. Federline" on the front, a large doll that I bought a baby football shirt for and with a black felt tip, in bold letters wrote "Sean P" on the back and will add a bandage to his head. I thought a mixed drink and smoke in my hands at all times and maybe drop the baby occasionally. I think I need to be pregnant as well. Make-up shouldn't be a problem but I am unsure of bottoms - pants, skirt, shoes??? Anyone have any Britney ideas, please feel free to write me!!

My K Fed is wearing jeans, a wife beater, suit jacket, doo rag (or is it do -rag?) hat and chains and a fedora. He is growing in some stubble.....again we are't quite sure what will make it an absolute give away. Nothing is worse then everyone asking you what you are!!
The final costumes, you can see my 'pregnant' pillow through the shirt

Gertie (my dog) has decided to be Snow White.....AGAIN!! Boy she loves that costume!
That sounds good. Mike could also wear extra droopy track pants. I also think he needs a doo-rag under the fedora. He just needs to throw the phrase "popozao" around and people will get it. And if they don't he can threaten to "pop a clock" in their faces. Or something like that, I can't quite get the wiggerisms correct anymore. Or, he can merely answer "yo" to any question.
Conversely, I have been dreaming of dressing as Stuart and his mom for Weenzers. Of course, there's no chance in HELL Paul'd go for it, so it really is a pipe dream. But I'd sure like to see him with a straw-y blond wig and tons of blusher on. He'd be cute as a button. I do believe I am completely Hallowe'ened out after so many years at Malabar.

Saturday, 14 October 2006

life of leisure

I'm bored and everything sucks. This housewife thing isn't as cool as I thought. If you have no reason to get up and get don't. And then when my BIG STRONG MAN comes home at the end of the day, he's tired, wants to eat and go to bed. I'm dying for company, talk a mile a minute and follow him around the house telling him all about todays Oprah episode. Pretty much drive him crazy, he gets frustrated, I get defensive, needy and emotional. It's totally hot and makes me incredably attractive, especially when I haven't showered, have breakfast/lunch on my jammies and dirty bathrobe sleeves from being dipped in numerous cups of cold tea as I reach for the tv remote.

I decided yesterday would be different. I took a long bath, SHAVED MY LEGS and even waxed things. I put on CLEAN JAMMIES and skipped Oprah only to have absolutely NOTHING to talk about when the spouse came home.

Which things did you wax? Obviously I am thinking your girl bits, but maybe you mean the kitchen floor. Please explain in detail.

Monday, 9 October 2006

get stuffed

Here in Canada we are finishing up Thanksgiving weekend and I tried again to win the turkey eating award but alas......there is aways a stronger competitor that brings me to my knees. Two days and two houses of roasted bird!! Oh the carnage!!

One thing that aways becomes apparent during the holidays is how the majority of the world CAN'T cook. I fully admit my snobbiness, my foodiness. It's true that I TIVO all episodes of The Barefoot Contessa and anything with Nigella Lawson and then TAKE NOTES but really people HOW CAN YOU SCREW UP MASH POTATOES??!!

I don't understand people who make meals for themselves and family everyday and make sincerely terrible food. Have they never eaten good food so they have nothing to compare it too?? Do most compare a good pasta dinner to Kraft Dinner? At some point you would think that even by accident some decently cook something past their lips and they thought "geez, that's kinda tasty, wonder how they done that?" AND LOOKED INTO IT.

So this weekend I did eat an unusual version of wallpaper paste drowning in canned gravy, stuffing made from PAXO breadcrumbs AND NOTHING ELSE and a dessert that I think was condensed milk with chocolate chips in a store bought graham cracker crust. The "chef" then spent over an hour telling me she couldn't have done it without the help of COSTCO!!!

Currently reading : The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook By Ina Garten Release date: 06 April, 1999

I think that a lot of people just don't know what good food is. Nor do they care to. Jill's husband can't even make instant mashed potatoes, he somehow came up with glue. And he doesn't care. He'd eat it happily. As far as Matt's concerned, food is food, it's only skateboarding fuel, nothing worth spending a lot of time worrying about.
Although, I do hear he makes really good pizza.

Friday, 6 October 2006

What the blog?

It's true, I will spread my lovin arms to any good blogging. I am a bloggin whore. Good blogs have made me realize that some of the books I read read like good blogs- David Sedaris, and the guy that wrote Running with Scissors. Stories of people lives and how they have felt while living them. Books written in the first person that take you on a journey with the protaganist, letting you feel what they feel. You are in the story, not just viewing it from above.

I lay NO claims to being good at this........what ever good means. And I know that very few even look/read my pages (maybe just my C8)but I enjoy the idea that I am trying to contribute to a world of thinking(even if it is just my own). That somewhere in our over stimulated, fast time/quick time, not fast enough entertainment reality tv show watching blurps we call life, that maybe we can find a new way to connect. Our way to realize that we are all human and that the reality is what you make, and this one is mine, not viewed from above but here in the trenches. My little peanut life likes the idea that it is adding some peanutty goodness to my audience of ONE.

It took years of Yoga to be able to shove my head this far up my own ass!

Wednesday, 4 October 2006

hair ball

My cat is currently on antianxiety medication. What is so stressful? (the picture of a cat that I have on this site is NOT my cat, therefore NOT explaning the possible stress level of my cat)
The most stressful part of her stress is how much time I spend worrying about her. We originally had her on a perscribed med from the vet that was amusingly call ClomiCalm. We had her on it for about a year until we realized that her fur was coming out in clumps and all she did was sleep. I found this more stressful then the behaviour that made us take her to the vet in the first place.

I have now been giving her a homeopathic treatment that was formulated for humans but has been reccomended for pets as well. Not only are there no side effects but it seems to be working!!!

If only getting the dropper up her ass was easier........

Monday, 2 October 2006


For all my bravado about MY My Space page, I have been completely crap about staying on top of keeping it up to date.

This year hasn't been full enough (new job, sell house, move, wedding after wedding and even a funeral AND eloped with the boyfriend of almost 6 years) I decided to fit in losing my job before year end just to mix it up a bit. I get bored easily and felt I needed to mix things up a bit. Yes, it's true, I have that much control over my life and the events of this year. Don't you wish you were more like me? I wish I was more like me. All of my lifes insecurities were challenged when I was claimed redundant!!

The interesting part is what this has brought up in me. I am serously considering going back to school...........................I think I want to be a teacher MA! Does this seem crazy?? Do I have time?? I know I am only 24.....eeer....hemmm...34 but can I really be considering a brand new start? I would be looking at around 4 years of schoolin' before I would be teachin' full time. English, I want to be a English teacher. I like apples, why not?!

Currently reading : What Next? The Complete Guide to Taking Control of Your Working Life By Babrara Moses Release date: 21 April, 2003


I wish I was less like me. Oh, and dinner worked out awesomely. I don't know if I told you this but I did a 'shepherd's pie' but with ground turkey and fresh sage, peas, then mashed sweet potatoes and topped with stuffing. Paul claims it's the best thing ever he's ever eaten that I made ever. And that if I change a thing, he'll cut off my hands.